I just don't fucking get it. A man can only try so much and get so little out of something till he just ends up giving up on something. It's like that one stubborn level in a video game or that one piece of furniture you can't put together and you just give up on it only to try your best the very next day. That's how I feel about women and myself. It's like I am in a never ending struggle to find some form of GENUINE affection that I have become cursed for eternity to live this here single life. I know, it may be a better one; but goddamn in my 22 years of living I have never once experienced about what nearly 96% of all the people I have known at some point in their lives. I have had sex before but it was a meaningless romp in the sheets. I was drunk, in a surly daze, and some chick made a beeline for my junk. I've even known a friend who dated some chick for about a week...you know what I would give to have something like that?
I just feel like I would have to literally have to go to the ends of the earth just to find my perfect woman. I mean honestly that's not working out here. For the past nine years I have had nothing but letdowns and broken hearts. Nine fuckin' years of turmoil and disrespect to whatever kindness I show. I just really don't get it. You put in that 100% effort to be with a female and you end up getting .01% back in return. And you know what the real killer is? SHE DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE THAT YOU ARE EVEN SHOWING SUCH AFFECTION. She's blindsided by the next dude; arms made of pure steel and brawn, a face of an olympian, the gusto of a Spaniard and the physique of a gladiator. No clue what lurks beneath the surface but it sure as hell isn't anything as to what the other dude feels: actual genuine caring. Maybe I'm the one who is confused as to all of this, but I do make one point; women just don't dig nice, point blank period. Women in general would rather go for someone who is just one third of a good dude and about two-thirds the asshole to others. So I throw in the towel, I lay my hat on the post and casually pretend I never got coasted aside for another dude...again.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Windows open, winds are blowin'
Pretty nice day out. Well, it's not all sunny and cheery with all types of birds chirping about or anything of that like. It's just calm outside, nice breeze blowing and a bit of a cloudy day. I could be wrong in the next twenty minutes cause my room overlooks the good then the bad just comes drifting in ever slowly from the west. I wanted to talk a bit about my everyday average morning routines.
My body reacts as it's own alarm clock and I find my eyes bolted wide open around 8 AM. I stretch for a bit, I get a bit twisted during my sleep. I roll off my bed and head straight for my bathroom, trip over the same stubborn misshaped tile on my floor and do my dirty deeds. A piss and a half later, I brush my pearly whites and wash off whatever might be lurking on my face. I apply some cream to these stubborn razor bumps and then proceed to my morning workouts. Some light sets of crunches and pushups, a bit of arm curls and one final bit of stretching to get all the kinks out then I am set physically for the day. I check my phone, no texts; just a reminder that I have a boatload of stuff to do before the day ends and my chaotic night begins. I do my routine run of Facebook notifications, commenting on curious morning or late night updates, liking all whatever I can, then update as much as I can given the allotted timing. I might do a post on my Facebooking within the week so I'll go into further detail on that soon. I head to my Twitter for my daily news in entertainment, the who's who of Hollywood and to check if someone kicked the bucket. I now consider Twitter to be my new source of breaking information, I have no reason to go to any other website unless I need to look up pictures or video of the source material.
After my social networking, I check all four of my email accounts one by one. From Gmail to Hotmail, my inbox are flooded with spam, job recommendations, twitter responses, random emails from various websites, Amazon subscriptions and the occasional FREE MOVIE TICKET piece of mail. It can sometimes get a bit frustrating after a while but I tend to just gloss right over it for the better even though I come back to a notification that shows I have over three thousand emails. After the emails, I turn on my Spotify account and just let it ride off in the background as I browse the internet for anything that catches my interest. Porn is not a nessecity in my eyes for the morning, I'm either browsing that while highly intoxicated or feeling curious. What I mainly browse are: movie clips, movie trailers, t-shirt designs, Wikipedia (anything I can deem interesting), gaming, what's trending now and The Chive.
I then sit by my computer and contemplate on what to write. Could be about anything that I want people to know and this is what I came up with. Now I must get back to this rather delicious peppermint tea and carry on for the rest of the day. Might do that Facebook post today if I get done in time with these important dealings of mine. Who knows...I don't. Or maybe I do? Rambling on again into the infinite universe of my mind. Cheers mates.
My body reacts as it's own alarm clock and I find my eyes bolted wide open around 8 AM. I stretch for a bit, I get a bit twisted during my sleep. I roll off my bed and head straight for my bathroom, trip over the same stubborn misshaped tile on my floor and do my dirty deeds. A piss and a half later, I brush my pearly whites and wash off whatever might be lurking on my face. I apply some cream to these stubborn razor bumps and then proceed to my morning workouts. Some light sets of crunches and pushups, a bit of arm curls and one final bit of stretching to get all the kinks out then I am set physically for the day. I check my phone, no texts; just a reminder that I have a boatload of stuff to do before the day ends and my chaotic night begins. I do my routine run of Facebook notifications, commenting on curious morning or late night updates, liking all whatever I can, then update as much as I can given the allotted timing. I might do a post on my Facebooking within the week so I'll go into further detail on that soon. I head to my Twitter for my daily news in entertainment, the who's who of Hollywood and to check if someone kicked the bucket. I now consider Twitter to be my new source of breaking information, I have no reason to go to any other website unless I need to look up pictures or video of the source material.
After my social networking, I check all four of my email accounts one by one. From Gmail to Hotmail, my inbox are flooded with spam, job recommendations, twitter responses, random emails from various websites, Amazon subscriptions and the occasional FREE MOVIE TICKET piece of mail. It can sometimes get a bit frustrating after a while but I tend to just gloss right over it for the better even though I come back to a notification that shows I have over three thousand emails. After the emails, I turn on my Spotify account and just let it ride off in the background as I browse the internet for anything that catches my interest. Porn is not a nessecity in my eyes for the morning, I'm either browsing that while highly intoxicated or feeling curious. What I mainly browse are: movie clips, movie trailers, t-shirt designs, Wikipedia (anything I can deem interesting), gaming, what's trending now and The Chive.
I then sit by my computer and contemplate on what to write. Could be about anything that I want people to know and this is what I came up with. Now I must get back to this rather delicious peppermint tea and carry on for the rest of the day. Might do that Facebook post today if I get done in time with these important dealings of mine. Who knows...I don't. Or maybe I do? Rambling on again into the infinite universe of my mind. Cheers mates.
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